Dictaphone

You are the sound of my spring, the rain drops of my soul that make me sing, that I daily count, that make me swing, also the cream that tops my cake which stops the break of my internal hound, the words that are lifting my mind, the screw of my heart which makes me blind, the grapes, the fruits that I peel, the steel that gives me the strength like platinum cards over the length of the whole nine yards. You are the flower at the river and the cleaning power of my liver. You are the wind that blows through my hair, that I really need, so I feel the heat from my toe up to my collarbone

because you are my Dictaphone!

You are my light and my mission, my obsession and passion, my fashion, my sight at the end of the tunnel. Each channel of my television presents me your landing on the moon. You are the tune that I daily play, the spoon that prevents me from starving, that makes me stay, sway, that makes me pray to silver and gold that I hold in my hand on the way to our promised land. You are the band of my heart, my friend and so smart, I blend you with art to upgrade the trend of the mentioned at last, my emotional pension and fast that I cast which hopefully lasts forever and I will never forget. I am blowing the horn to form the tone

because you are my Dicatphone!

You are the rain in my dreams, my train in Spain, and it seems this claim beams us up to foreign planets where we bleach the past. You’re the one who refreshes the parts others cannot reach. The planets’ mothers will teach us all about the hook, the look and the book of rhyme and love in which we fly, so this is the time when doves will cry. You are the cook who cooks my soul, the book which books the bowl we’re swimming in so bright and clear – how I wish, how I wish you were here. You are my pancake; my short bred that give me the power like a landlord under the shower. I am blowing the horn to form the tone

because you are my Dictaphone!

Copyright: © by Hamlet Hamster

IMHO

Eines jener Kombinationen aus vier Buchstaben, die mir immer wieder im Netz begegnen, ohne zu wissen, welche Bewandnis es damit hat. Nun war ich neugierig genug, der Sache auf den Grund zu gehen. Ergebnis: Das Kürzel IMHO gibt Wohnsilobewohnern die Möglichkeit, Understatement zu praktizieren. Vorausgesetzt es wird zur richtigen Zeit an der richtigen Stelle im Satz dezent eingesetzt. Ein Beispiel: “Um sich nicht das Beinkleid zu verurinieren, erscheint es mir IMHO ratsam, vor dem Wasserlassen den Hosenschlitz entsprechend der gewollten Anwendung bereits bestehender Rahmenrichtlinien für eine gepflegte Lebensführung zu öffnen.” IMHO bedeutet “In My Humble Opionion“, was übersetzt soviel heißt wie: “meiner unmaßgeblichen Meinung nach…“

Und dann fand ich bei meiner Recherche noch das hier.

Mr. Rogers talks to the US senate!

In 1969, the US Senate had a hearing on funding the proposed Corporation for Public Broadcasting, but President Nixon wanted it cut in half for the Vietnam War. Sometimes nice guys do win some.

In 1969, Mister Rogers [wiki] appeared before the United States Senate Subcommittee on Communications. His goal was to support funding for PBS and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, in response to significant proposed cuts. In about five minutes of testimony, Rogers spoke of the need for social and emotional education that public television provided. He passionately argued that alternative television programming like his Neighborhood helped encourage children to become happy and productive citizens, sometimes opposing less positive messages in media and in popular culture. He even recited the lyrics to one of his songs.

The chairman of the subcommittee, John O. Pastore, was not previously familiar with Rogers’ work, and was sometimes described as gruff and impatient. However, he reported that the testimony had given him goosebumps, and declared, “Looks like you just earned the $20 million.” The subsequent congressional appropriation, for 1971,
increased PBS funding from $9 million to $22 million.

Click Play or go to Link [YouTube] .
Found at VBS (recommended by VBS creative director Spike Jonze).

via Neatorama

Contact My Secretary Now!

Ok, my dear male
and female natured friends,

this kind of email business is not necessarily new; as we all do know. Nevertheless, I cannot help admitting the fact that I have never ever received such an email in such an enormously charming and God trusting touch! And here it comes:

“Dear friend,

Compensating your past effort

You might find it difficult to remember me, though it is indeed a very long time ago. I am much delighted to contact you again after couple of years now, if you can remember vividly. It takes faith and God fearing to remember old friends and at the same time, to show gratification to them, despite all odds that made things not to work out as we projected with you then.

I am taking this liberty to inform you that the transaction we were pursing together years back was finally realized by God’s infinite mercy and I decided to contact you today as to let you know about this. I have conscience as a God’s fearing person to remember your tremendous effort and contribution to make things work out then. Presently, I am in Panama for some business negotiation and establishment with my partner who was unfortunately assassinated when realizing the fund out with me. I arrived in Panama yesterday and decided not to bury him but to go downtown to the hotel’s business centre in order to send you this very important email at its utmost efficiency.

As to compensate your past effort and contributions made in the past towards the past realization of the deal with me, I have signed a Cashier’s check sum of (US$1.600.000.00) as your compensation share from the deal. Before my travelling out to Panama, I left the check to my secretary as to send it to you upon your reconfirmation of your address where he will send it to you.

Please, contact my secretary in the name of Mr. Jodelle Keitel at keitel.jodelle@yahoo.fr. Feel free to confirm to me through this email once you retrieve the check amount as I designated to you.

Thanking you for your past effort while hoping that you will use the compensation amount judiciously.

Friendly Yours,
malikos John“

It is totally clear that I cannot take money even it is to be seen as a declaration of good – not to say – God’s trusted will, if I was not the one who did this mysterious money transaction in the past. Second, I am not that much God fearing as it might look to you on first impression. Third, there must be a second way of how to separate me, myself and I from my money. Maybe the following try might be the right one…maybe…

“Dear Hamlet,

Do accept my sincere apologies if my mail does not meet your personal ethics. I introduce myself as Richards a former staff in the accounts management Section of a well-known bank here in UK.

One account in our bank with holding balance of £15,000,000 (Fifteen Million British Pounds) has been dormant and last operated in the past 5 years. From my investigations and confirmations, the owner of this account is a Foreigner by name Gerald Stone died on the 4th of January 2002 on fatal Motor accident.

Since then nobody has done anything as regards the claiming of this money as he has no family Member who is aware of the existence of neither the account nor the funds. Information from the National Immigration also states that he was single on entry into UK.

I have confidentially discussed this issue with some of the bank officials and we have agreed to find a reliable foreign partner to deal with. We thus propose to do business with you, standing in as the next of kind to the deceased and have the funds released to you after due processes have been followed.

This transaction is totally free of risk and troubles as the fund is Legitimate and does not originate from drug, money laundry, terrorism or any other Illegal act.

On your interest let me hear from you.

Regards,
Richads“

The only thing I really appreciate about this is this typical British kindness …

Education

The unbeatable advantage of youth is classless thinking. As long as certain attitudes or mental correction by your parents did not have influenced you, you will have basically selected your friends and social surrounding by yourself or in line with the opinions of other friends you looked up to. One so-called attitude is the way you dress or get dressed, depending whether you had been able to enjoy the luxurious advantage of being allowed to create your own outfit – or not. Boys normally prefer practical clothing. They do not care about adjectives like pretty, smart, cute or whatever as long as they can play football without being brought to justice by a headache-suffering mother afterwards. Girls however are differently structured. They carry a badge on their forehead, displaying Barbie-Chip Inside, which keeps them constantly in front of any mirror that they can occupy, even it is a self-reflecting shopping window.

So what make parents presenting their children like first class crash test dummies? In some ways kids might be nothing but toys they love to play with. Like a car, a house, a horse, a dog, diamonds or a wealthy bank account. All of these items represent social standing, but they also mean the owners accept certain rules that keep our society functional. They see it as their duty to honour these laws by introducing their up and coming family members with precisely these mechanisms. To me, special family events, such as Communion, birthday parties, Christmas or similar happenings, were directly linked to wearing clothes I did not like at all. I always found myself looking awfully stupid and – even worse – the wool was unacceptably scratching my skin! I felt quite uncomfortable and there was not a single argument that could have had the power to make the vision of becoming an adult look tasty to me.

So here we are. Wearing pretty clothes is not only a question of celebrating superficiality. It is also a matter of training the youth to deal with unusual or unpleasant situations and to stand their own ground, man or woman. Conclusion: Whenever we see completely overdressed people worshipping the Holy Lord of surface, we shall never ever underestimate the educational aspect of looking good!

Copyright: © by Hamlet Hamster; hamster&james h.n.c.
Exclusively written for M Publication Volume 02 (Luxury), Frankfurt a.M.

What A Wonderful World!

“What a Wonderful World” was written by songwriters Bob Thiele and George David Weiss, first performed by Louis Armstrong, and released as a single in early fall 1967. Intended as an antidote for the increasingly racially and politically charged climate in the U.S. (and written specifically for Armstrong, who had broad crossover appeal), the song details the singer’s delight in the simple enjoyment of everyday life. The song also has a hopeful, optimistic tone with regard to the future, with reference to babies being born into the world and having much to which to look forward. The song was not initially a hit in the States, where it sold less than 1,000 copies, but was a major success in the UK, reaching number one in the UK singles chart.

19 major interpretations of this masterpiece of music is now to be heard; now to be seen; and now ready to be downloaded on boreme.com. Here comes the playlist:

1. Louis Armstrong
2. Nick Cave and Shane MacGowan
3. Eva Cassidy
4. Joey Ramone
5. Sarah Brightman
6. Rod Stewart
7. Chris Moyles (Celebrity X-Factor)
8. Julia Roman Abueva (10yrs. old)
9. A blacklight production by a grade three class
10. Dorothy Hamill (skating at the 1995 Legends competition)
11. Guy Sebastian (live at the Australian Tennis Open Final)
12. Al Murray (The Pub Landlord)
13. Angels and Airwaves (Windows Vista release party)
14. Anwar Robinson (American Idol)
15. BMX Bandits
16. Olivia Newton-John (Mothers & Others concert with
Cher, Bette Midler, Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn)
17. Celine Dion
18. Swing Girls (‘wild boar’ scene from 2004 Japanese film)
19. Louis Armstrong sings for the Forces

Cadbury Chocolate is not easy to survive but THIS is a nice thing to watch – if it is the first time!

Click here!

Honouring the fact featuring apes; so
this Hoover sounds like Chewbacca from the Star Wars movie.

both via Miss Celania

Für Elise

And here are my lyrics for Beethoven’s marvellous tune:

Do you see the moon is shining bright
Into our room through out the night
Come let’s book for us a moony flight
To upgrade our delight

Suddenly we feel the speed of light,
More powerful than dynamite.
I would like to be your beloved bride.
My heart is open and so wide.

I sing for you this magic tune
Feed me with our walk on the moon.

Like a storming wizard getting near
Choosing now a faster gear.
I can see your eyes so bright and clear,
Breaking through the stratosphere.

I sing for you this magic tune
Feed me with our walk on the moon.

Cosmic diving without gravity
This is now reality
Softly kissing the eternity
My fantasy is harmony

Bunte Blumen, bunte Wiese
Dieses Lied ist für Elise…

Have you ever seen the golden sheep?
How they jump and how they sleep?
Our feelings creep so deep
Under our skins where they will weep.

I’m hungry like an empty spoon
Feed me with our walk on the moon.

Following the milky street
The night so cold, we love the heat
All my lyrics written on this sheet
Say that you’re gorgeous, oh so sweet

I sing for you this magic tune
Feed me with our walk on the moon.

All of our dreams will now come true
We see Bambi and meet Balu
Finally we see the earth so blue,
The result is 42!

I’m hungry like an empty spoon
Feed me with our walk on the moon.

Now we’re back in our room
Arrival on a brand old broom
All the pretty flowers now do bloom
And what do we? (Yeah!) We sleep soon!

Copyright: © by Hamlet Hamster; hamster&james h.n.c.

The Case Richard Littler

Richard is a passionate fireman. He burns down ideas like others used to open bottles of them. Obviously he has no problem with that. Perhaps the best strategy to survive in swimming pools, filled up with human sausages complaining about nothing but their own availability. I remember when he once said to me “Listen Hamster, when you know you are supposed to look out of the window in order to make your landlord happy, so why don’t you do it? What’s so wrong with that?” No doubt, Richard is a meaningful, honourable and most practical thinking fine young man with a serious sense of that one can do – and not can do! It depends on the way you look at it! But this is only one side of his brain’s medal. Of course, there is a full mental jacket too; and a metal recreation centre, and a pedal; and a hurdle testing his bones’ flexibility – it’s a great time we live in, isn’t it? But what’s with the other side? The dark side of the Goon? Some questions are only there for a pure and instinctually rhetoric purpose, in which nature has no place anymore. Whenever the slave has done his job he may leave the scenery. An old and highly fashionable rule most of the swimming pool sausages won’t be able to remember because they’ve never ever heard of it. But Richard did! Richard is different – not to say: very muchly indeed! So, whenever you go to McDonald’s, BurgerKing, Wendy’s, JackInTheBox, BigCahunaBurger or another nasty and tasty fast-food-facility, you should better think of him. It might be possible he appears in some French Fries paralysing you with his hypnotic speech, just to make you feel unsafe. If he succeeds – and there can’t be any doubt about it – you will buy his screenplay. It will cost you a fortune. Richard doesn’t leave you any choice. He’s nothing but a professional. He will close his eyes and clear your check. Always be aware of that fact.

I gave you a fair warning!

Sincerely yours Hamlet Hamster

The rise of cocky athletes!

A guest commentary by:
Vince Hillier
Bore Me Now

Dear visitors!

For this little trick all you need is a fast car, a racetrack, and the brain the size of a pea. Just mix, and you’ll pretty much end up with what you see here. But what I love about this viral is the commentary. You can see what the commentator thinks when he starts the clip off with the words ‘Cocky athletes’.

In a split second you can tell how his life has been.

Athletes beating him up for dinner money at school… athletes stealing his school bag… athletes hanging him out of windows… athletes forcing him to dress up as Colonel Gaddafi and have sex with a horse … you know, the usual schoolboy pranks.

And it didn’t stop there… This torment went on and on. I don’t mean athletes forced the commentator to dress up as a different world leader and have sex with a horse week in week out. I mean this bullying continued well into adulthood. The athletes just wouldn’t leave him alone. And then, through a stroke of luck, a job vacancy comes up for an un-athletic commentator at his local TV station. “Must hate athletes. Must be prepared to gloat at athletes. No sex with any sort of animal necessary, in OR out of uniform”.

And is revenge sweet…

Cruising to victory

I love the detail in this… the way he mocks the driver’s lost $150 prize money… implying he earns twice that much every month.